


Close

by postmodernmulticoloredcloak



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Comfort, Cuddling, M/M, lovemaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 10:54:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5704966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postmodernmulticoloredcloak/pseuds/postmodernmulticoloredcloak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They’re sitting against the pillows on the bed, and Steve can barely recall the last time they were in an actual room, just the two of them, relaxing on a bed, a real bed, wearing civilian clothes, and especially not waiting for danger to happen at any moment.<br/>Bucky looks out of the rain-streaked window. Steve looks at Bucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to Mary for her beta work and to Silvia for her assistance!

They’re sitting against the pillows on the bed, and Steve can barely recall the last time they were in an actual room, just the two of them, relaxing on a bed, a real bed, wearing civilian clothes, and especially not waiting for danger to happen at any moment.

Bucky looks out of the rain-streaked window. Steve looks at Bucky.

Bucky doesn’t speak, but Steve reads the unspoken words in the creases on his forehead, in the clench of his jaw. He gently places a hand on Bucky’s right hand. Bucky’s breath catches in his throat and he blinks a couple times. The surprise on his face makes Steve’s ribcage tighten.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispers. Bucky looks at him, and the sadness in his eyes feels like a dagger in Steve’s chest. 

Steve holds Bucky’s right hand while he cups Bucky’s face with his other hand. 

“I’m here. I’m gonna do my best to make things as good as possible, okay? Trust me. I’ll do my best.”

Bucky doesn’t tear his eyes from Steve’s, but the pain in his eyes doesn’t lessen.

“I can’t promise everything will be magically alright, but I can promise that I’ll always be there for you. You will always be able to rely on me, okay?”

Bucky gulps and nods, barely blinking. Steve strokes Bucky’s cheek and cheekbone with his thumb, and that’s when Bucky’s eyes close, as he inhales deeply.

“Is your body alright? Do you feel pain anywhere?”

Bucky shakes his head and Steve gives him a small reassuring smile. 

“That’s a good start. Do you feel comfortable in here? Is there anything about this place that feels off?”

Bucky shakes his head again.

“You feeling good?”

Bucky looks down.

“No.”

Steve puts a couple fingers under his chin and raises Bucky’s head a little, so that their eyes meet again. 

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better, right now, in this room?”

Bucky shrugs with a sigh.

“Would you feel better if I held you closer?”  
Bucky’s eyes widen a little, but Steve can’t decipher his expression with certainty. Then Bucky nods. 

Steve inhales deeply before moving closer, cupping his neck with both hands and pressing his forehead against Bucky’s.

“Is this okay?”

Bucky nods again. Steve can feel Bucky’s rapid breaths against his mouth. He caresses the back of Bucky’s head, then gently rubs Bucky’s shoulders. Bucky buries his head against Steve’s neck, his right hand pressed against Steve’s chest, his left arm behind his own back.

“Are you feeling better?”  
“Yes,” Bucky mumbles against Steve’s collarbone. 

“Touch me,” Steve murmurs.

“What?”

“With your hand. Put your hand against me.”

“I’m touching you with my hand.”

“The other one.”

Steve feels Bucky stiffen.

“You don’t have to,” he hurriedly adds. “It’s okay if—“

But before he can finish the sentence, Bucky is pushing Steve down on the bed, both hands pressing against Steve’s chest. Steve’s breath catches in his throat. Bucky seems surprised by his own boldness. He’s staring at Steve with wide eyes, mouth slightly apart—Steve’s brain belatedly registers that they’re lying on a bed, one on top of the other, Bucky’s hands on Steve’s chest, Steve’s hands instinctively placed on Bucky’s hips. 

Bucky fidgets and sits up straight again, shoulders slumped, eyes low, looking as though he’s trying to make himself smaller. Steve sits up too.

“Bucky? Are you okay? Are you feeling uncomfortable? Should we do something else? Go somewhere else?”

Bucky shakes his head emphatically, although he still doesn’t look at Steve.

“Here. Let’s stay here.”

“If all of this physical contact is making you uncomfortable, we can stop for now.”

Bucky shakes his head again. 

“You want to keep doing this?”

Bucky nods, still looking at his own hands.

“But in a different way?” 

Bucky nods again.

Steve sighs and scoots closer to Bucky. He cups Bucky’s cheek with one hand, figuring that going too far is going to make Bucky nervous—but then Bucky is sliding on the mattress, positioning himself so that he’s lying on his back, looking up at Steve. Steve’s eyes widen as Bucky gently grabs Steve’s shirt and pulls him towards himself.

“Safe,” Bucky murmurs.

“You… you feel more protected if I am on top of you?”  
Bucky nods, eyes fixated on Steve’s, lips slightly trembling.

Steve lies on Bucky, burying his face into Bucky’s hair, holding Bucky tight. Bucky’s body starts shaking as Bucky begins to cry, clutching at the fabric on Steve’s back with both of his fists.

“It’s okay,” Steve murmurs. “You’ve got me now. I’m not gonna leave you.”

Bucky lets out shaky sobs, and Steve gently scratches his scalp.

“Are you feeling good?”

Bucky nods emphatically. He sniffs and gulps, and takes some deep breaths to stop the tears.

“You make me feel good,” he murmurs shakily.

Steve makes a half smile, huffing air out of his nose.

“I’m glad.”

They drift into a deep sleep, and Bucky doesn’t even wake up once. 

When they wake up in the morning, their bodies are intertwined together.

“Are you okay, Buck?”

Bucky makes an affirmative noise as he stretches like a content cat. Steve smiles and ruffles his hair. 

They take turns showering and brushing their teeth, and Bucky sets the table as Steve makes pancakes. While the first pancake is cooking, he watches Bucky, who’s standing staring at the already set table, looking melancholy and slightly dazed.

“Are you feeling alright, Bucky? Is there anything I can do for you right now?”

Bucky turns around and clasps his arms around Steve’s waist. Their lips accidentally brush together for a moment, and Steve can feel Bucky inhaling sharply.

They stare at each other, Bucky’s lips slightly apart, his eyes wide.

“Steve,” Bucky just says softly.

“Are you alright, Bucky? Is anything making you uncomfortable?”

Bucky closes his eyes, shaking his head to one side.

“Kiss,” he murmurs.

And then Steve is gently pressing his lips against Bucky’s, and then they’re kissing softly, hands roaming across each other, and a small tear rolls down Bucky’s cheek, and Steve catches it with his lips.

They need to break apart when the pancake starts emitting a burning smell.

After breakfast, Steve goes out for a quick grocery run and stops by Natasha’s house to return a dvd she’d lent them. When he comes back, Bucky is lying on the bed again, staring at the ceiling. Steve sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Bucky? Is there something I can do for you?”

Bucky closes his eyes.

“Stay here. Close.”

Steve lays next to him and embraces him. Bucky takes a deep breath.

“Steve…”

Steve presses a soft kiss against Bucky’s temple. 

“I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay, Buck.”

“Yeah.”

Steve smiles fondly, and they just lie there, bodies close, basking in each other’s warmth. Bucky gently prods Steve to get on top of him. Steve complies, sinking his face against Bucky’s neck.

After a while, Steve notices Bucky is tensing up.

“You okay, Buck? Do you want to stay like this?”

Bucky shakes his head. Steve bites his lip. 

“Do you want to do something else?”

“More.”

Steve’s eyes widen.

“Do you want to kiss like before?”  
“More.” 

Steve’s heartbeat speeds up. 

“Are you sure?”

Bucky doesn’t answer.

“It’s okay if you aren't ready. I understand, it’s alright.”

“You know, I remember.”

“You remember…what exactly?”

“You’d make me feel good.”

Steve takes a couple deep breaths.

“Do you want me to make you feel good again, Buck?”

Bucky’s eyes fix on Steve’s. 

“Yes.”

They stare at each other wide-eyed and breathing heavily as Steve caresses Bucky’s face and strokes his lips with his fingertips. Bucky closes his eyes as he starts licking and nibbling Steve’s fingertips, and Steve sinks his free hand into Bucky’s hair. Bucky’s eyes open and they stare at each other’s eyes again until Steve closes the space between his lips and Bucky’s, and this time isn’t as soft as before. They move at the same rhythm, a dance they’ve practiced a million times, lips and tongues and teeth gentle and hungry at the same time, hands roaming over each other’s face, hair, neck, chest, hips. Steve tries to ignore the friction from their crotches rubbing together. Buck needs him to take this slow, unrushed—it’s when Bucky lets out a loud whine and unceremoniously grabs Steve’s ass that a switch clicks in the atmosphere of the room.

“God, Buck, fuck—I mean—tell me right away if something makes you uncom—“

“Steve,” Bucky interrupts him, his voice almost a growl.

And Steve buries his face against Bucky’s neck, licking and sucking at his skin, biting against his earlobe, nibbling at his jaw. Bucky whimpers and moans, and suddenly Steve’s shirt is ripping. Steve can’t help but giggle as Bucky stares at the fabric inside his own left fist. 

“Oops,” Bucky simply says, and Steve laughs.

“I’ll buy another.”

Bucky grins. 

They undress hastily. Steve is sure he hears some buttons clink on the floor, but he ignores that.

Bucky falls on his back, feet planted on the mattress, legs wide. Steve giggles.

“Whoa. This isn’t the army anymore, we can take our time.”

Bucky pouts, and Steve laughs as he grabs Bucky’s legs and places them around his waist. They stare at each other hungrily, then Steve slips his face against Bucky’s neck.

“Tell me, Buck, what do you want me to do?” he murmurs into Bucky’s ear, and Bucky shivers.

“Anything you want,” Bucky answers through gritted teeth.

“I want to make sure you’re comfort—humph.”

Bucky pushes his mouth against Steve’s and roughly shoves his tongue in Steve’s mouth. His heels press hard against Steve’s lower back, and Steve deduces that Bucky is ready enough. He grabs Bucky’s hair and grinds hard against him. Bucky yelps.

“Oh fuck, fuck, I’ve missed this,” Steve groans.

“Me too,” Bucky whimpers as he rolls his hips upwards. “I didn’t even know, but I was missing it.”

“We can do this as much as you want now, for as long as you want.”

“Forever,” Bucky replies in a soft voice.

Steve pecksBucky’s lips.

“I wanna do this the best way for you. What do you want me to do to you, Bucky?”

“Fuck me,” Bucky growls.

“You sure you’ll be comfortable with that?”

“Now.” 

“Oh, well—okay. Will you get on your stomach, Buck?”

Bucky rolls obediently, keeping his head turned to the side to stare at Steve.

“Now, I’m gonna get you nice and open with my tongue and my fingers, okay? Then I’m gonna fuck you. Deep and slow. Is that alright?”

“Always do this.”

“Do what exactly?”

“Talk. Tell.”

Steve smiles. 

“Sure thing, Buck. Now, I’m gonna take care of your pretty ass, alright? You want me to get your cheeks open and put my tongue on your hole? Lick it until it’s all wet? Put my tongue inside? Add one finger at a time until you can’t take that anymore, until you need me to fuck you?” 

Bucky is arching his back and clenching his teeth on his lower lip.

“Hurry up you punk.”

Steve does exactly what he’s promised to do, which is harder than he’s anticipated because every instinct he has prods him to just grind his cock against Bucky’s ass and get it over with quickly because everything is just s _o much_.

Bucky doesn’t help. He moans and gasps and whines and shrieks Steve’s name and kicks his feet against the mattress and clutches at the sheets and pushes his ass up and down and Steve is pretty sure he’s made as many sounds now as he’s made in the previous three weeks together.

“Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve.”

Steve’s name is a litany out of Bucky’s mouth, almost like a prayer, a shrill panted prayer that sounds like heaven to Steve, and after what could be minutes or centuries their bodies are slumping down on the mattress, and they’re panting and whining each other’s names softly.

“I love you, Steve.”

“I love you, Buck.”


End file.
